Sorry, Paula-This Album Leaves Me Far From "Spellbound"

One of the strangest mysteries in recent pop culture is why Paula Abdul is a judge on "American Idol". Despite the fact that Paula made a handful of exciting dance-pop singles in the late Eighties/early Nineties, having her judge a singing contest is a bit like having Stevie Wonder judge a fashion show. Whether a Paula Abdul record is listenable or not generally depends on whether the production is sympathetic to her nasal whine of a voice.

Her 1988 debut, "Forever Your Girl" contained plenty of ear candy. Who could deny the (somewhat) guilty pleasures of hits like "Straight Up" or "Cold Hearted"? This ear candy translated into millions and millions of sales and turned the former Janet Jackson choreographer into the queen of pop music. This was a time when no one was really concerned about whether you could sing or not.

Then the Milli Vanilli lip-synch fiasco occurred, and Abdul found herself in her very own firestorm. A background singer (and former member of Rick James' Mary Jane Girls)named Yvette Marine asserted that Paula's lead vocals were mixed on the same level as her (Yvette)'s backgrounds, creating a sort of blended effect that wasn't really a true reflection of Paula's singing capabilities. While the case was eventually decided in Paula's favor, she was stung by the criticism, and took pains to assert herself as a vocalist on her second proper album, 1991's "Spellbound". To boost her artistic cred, she also called on alt-R&B band The Family Stand to produce the album. The end result is okay in spots, but there's definitely a sense that Paula's overreaching a bit.

Well, more than a bit, if you want me to be honest. Homegirl is WAY in over her head on some of the album's tracks, while others try way too hard to be artistic and end up sounding like throwaways.

The danceable tracks sort of veer between OK and terrible. "The Promise Of A New Day", created in the shadow of the Gulf War (and Janet's "Rhythm Nation"), opens the album as a prayer for world peace.The production is cutting-edge, Paula's vocals are relatively harmless, and you're already up and dance. "Rock House" takes a more confrontational tack. With an upbeat piano-led thumping house rhythm, Paula tells the "critics on (her) jock" to "shut up and dance!" The song is equal parts danceable and laughable. The album's title track basically repeats the formula of the previous two songs, to diminishing results.

"Vibeology" can barely be called a song. It's more of a sound collage, with Paula cooing "I'm in a funky way!" over jazz-ish horns, a cascading dance beat, and faux-choral vocals. It's embarrassing, but not quite as embarrassing as her attempt to sing John Hiatt's "Alright Tonight" over a musical background that suggests Lionel Richie's "All Night Long (All Night)". Even Prince shows up (as he seemed to do on every female artist's album during this time period). His "U" sounds like a "Purple Rain"-era throwaway.

"Rush Rush" is a fairly innocent-sounding ballad that turned out to be the biggest hit on the album. There's a high note at the end of the bridge that's supposed to make you say "Wow, maybe she is a decent singer after all", but really makes you say "Wow, that note is processed and echoed to last about 3X as long as she actually held it in the studio!". "Blowing Kisses In The Wind" is another ballad in the same style. Consider it "Rush Rush" without the pretentious violin solo.

The album's best moment occurs at the end of "Spellbound". "Will You Marry Me?" is a pretty, poppy midtempo ballad which features Paula taking the lead and asking her loved one to take her hand in matrimony. The aforementioned Stevie Wonder shows up to add a sunny harmonica solo. You can picture Paula and her love interest hoofing it up ballroom style to the strains of this song. Of course, life imitated art when Paula married Emilio Estevez around the time this song was a hit.

Pulling out my tape copy (which amazingly still holds up after fourteen years), I was stunned by how horribly this album (which I never thought was that great in the first place) had aged. "Spellbound" basically proved one thing: Paula Abdul was just a pretty face that sang peppy dance-pop singles. As a singer, she wasn't Aretha Franklin or even Janet Jackson. Her best songs were the ones that showcased her dance moves and bubbly personality. The songs on "Spellbound" are missing the sense of fun that her earlier hits had in spades. She tried to be an "artiste", and failed miserably. When she tried to return to her fun pop style several years later, she realized that her audience had disappeared. Who knew that a half decade after that, she'd pop up as the host of a singing contest?


Paula Abdul "Spellbound"

Rating: 1 1/2 out of 5 stars, rounded down

Rewind: "Rush, Rush", "Will You Marry Me?"

Fast-Forward: Everything else.

Great Music to Play While: Thinking that Paula Abdul wouldn't get through the introductory round of auditions on her own TV show.