Words can’t define what I feel inside, by Siamese Dream comes close.

Do you know when an album is good? You know an album is good when there is something to like in almost every song, allowing you listen end to end without hitting the skip button. You know an album is good when you turn it on and find it difficult to pry yourself from your CD player. You know an album is good when you often find yourself singing a catchy or profound line or stanza. Finally, you know an album is good when you read the lyrics and say, “Damn, that sums up how I feel and what I’m going through.” Siamese Dream, the sophomore album by the Chicago-based nineties alt-rock band the Smashing Pumpkins, exudes these qualities. And what follows, with a few detours, is the soundtrack to a destroyed relationship, one full of anger and resentment, sadness and pain, love and resiliency.

Most likely, if you’re looking to buy Siamese Dream, you’re looking for the hits first. So, I’ll cover them first. Cherub Rock starts the album off literally and figuratively with a rolling bang with crescendoing drums and a brisk guitar that leads into a dull growl of a rhythm. The lyrics, which lambaste social situations such as school, family, a relationship, etc. where arrogance, shallowness, mob mentality, and materialism hide fragile egos and insecurity, are easy to relate to.

“Beware,
All these angels with their wings glued on,
‘Cause deep down,
They are frightened and they’re scared.”

Today is a song for those times when something good happens, but your mind keeps drifting toward a past full of regret, guilt, and pain. This dichotomy is presented musically with two contrasting moods that flow into each other so aimlessly that it’s hard to recognize the difference at first, like a train of thought. The first mood, the brighter one, features Billy Corgan’s light and carefree vocals along with happy-go-lucky lyrics with a slow-tempo, light rock accompaniment The darker mood comes with muffled, pain-induced vocals, a growling rhythm, squealing guitars, and regretful lyrics. A sample of the lyrics from the darker mood (which has the better lyrics):

”Pink ribbon scars,
That never forget,
I tried so hard,
To cleanse these regrets.”

Disarm beautifully captures the emotional contradictions that coming of age brings. It’s personal and relatable lyrics express uncertainty, defiance, and bitterness but also joy, warmth, and love. It’s intimate with Corgan by himself playing an acoustic guitar in the foreground but also grand and dramatic with bells and absolutely beautiful strings in the background. A lyrical snippet:

”I used to be a little boy,
So old in my shoes,
What I choose is my choice,
What’s a boy supposed to do?”

Next, you’re probably asking if there is any depth beyond the singles. There answer is a resounding “Yes.” First, there is Hummer, a great, exhilarating song. If you’re someone who sings or lip syncs with the lyrics, plays air guitar while listening to music, etc., you will find yourself hooked by this song. Even if you don’t sing, etc., you’ll still find yourself mesmerized by the soaring guitars, playing solo and in ensemble, and vocals and the gentle yet lively conclusion with entrancing guitars. Last but not least are the lyrics which, although somewhat sparse in places, tell of a person in a romantic catch 22, still feeling love for the other person but ultimately not happy. And although I personally hate the line “Life’s a bummer, when you’re a hummer,” “Hummer” includes this wonderfully profound statement:

”Happiness will make you wonder,
Will I feel okay,
It scares the disenchanted,
Far away.”

Soma, like “Hummer,” is about a catch 22, in the case about someone who finds loneliness both inside and outside of the relationship. Musically, these situations are represented by two opposing yet complementary halves that together remind me of a stick of dynamite. The first half (the fuse) is somber and melacholy, like someone driving away late at night. It’s light and dreamy with Corgan’s almost whispered vocals and light drums and guitar licks. Then, about halfway through, everything explodes (It’s a good idea to turn the volume down a bit.) in a cloud of relatively slow but intense, slightly distorted, guitar-driven fury as Corgan’s vocals take on their trademark growl. Uniting both halves of the song is the anthemic line, “I’m all by myself, as I’ve always felt.” And that’s just one sample of the great lyrics. Here’s another:

”Didn’t wanna lose you once again,
Didn’t wanna be your friend,
Fulfill a promise made of tears,
And crawled back to you.”

I am usually not a fan of the Pumpkins’ straight-forward hard rock songs in large part because, oftentimes, Billy Corgan likes to scream incessantly, but Geek USA is one of the Pumpkins’ hard rock song I like. One thing I like is the level of variety. The song goes from a mid-tempo, guitar-driven groan to a dreamy interlude leading into rising power chords to a fast-paced, guitar-driven fury and finally a tower of distortion. You also have the impressive guitar and drum work throughout. And while some of the lyrics are a bit random (What the hell are “apple eyes”?), there are also great lines such as the line in the title of this review and this:

”Sear those thoughts of me,
Alone and unhappy,
I never liked me anyway.”

Unlike the other songs about broken relationships, which are limited to a single emotion like defiance or anger, Mayonaise is more complex, displaying a broad range of emotions like sadness, bewilderment, anger, and frustration with, even though the lyrics deny it, shards of love mixed in somewhere with all that pain. It’s also my favorite song on this album. You know a song is good when the lyrics could be in Swahili and the song would still be powerful. This is one such song. First is the instrumentation, particularly the guitars. The opening and closing of the song, with two soft guitars, one strumming, the other with a twang, circling each other in and out of the foreground, gives me goosebumps and make my eyes misty with their beauty, intimacy, and sadness. It’s very appropriate that the only time the guitars play the same tune is at their loudest, like two people whose only shared emotions are anger and frustration, and even then, there are times when one guitar goes off on a tangent. There are also Billy Corgan’s vocals, which span the emotional and auditory range from soft, sad, bewildered sighs to angry groans, and if frustration had a voice, it would moonlight as Billy Corgan’s voice. Topping it off, like delicious icing on an already delicious cake (and I’ve always liked the icing more), are the lyrics which include powerful lines and stanzas like:

”Shut my mouth and strike the demons,
That cursed you and your reasons,
Out of hand and out of season,
Out of love and out of feeling.”

Backing up these songs is a backbench of songs that are not perfect but still have something going for them and lend themselves to the album. I don’t like the whiny screaming from Quiet, and the lyrics can drag in places but the vocals take on a carefree feel near the end, which I like, and the whole song is powered by a heavy, pumping rhythm, which I like even better. The screeching guitars and vocals from Rocket, the remaining single, are annoying, but the lyrics carry a good message of defiance and resiliency. Spaceboy’s lyrics are a little odd but I really like the epic, operatic feel that alternates with an acoustic guitar. Silverf*ck’s long duration can be draining, but the varied use of guitars and drums, simulating heartbeats, tribal drums, and motorcycles make it interesting. The lyrics to Luna are repetitive and a bit random, but the song has a gentle, bittersweet mood that I like.
Sweet Sweet is the only song I don’t like; Corgan’s vocals are screechy, and the song ends rather abruptly.
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CONCLUSION
In truth, Siamese Dream is not flawless. The fact that many of the songs could be described as “a dull roar” and the similar subject manner could make the album seem a little homogenous at first. The liner notes, in which the lyrics are handwritten over photographs, make it difficult to read the lyrics. And like I’ve said, some songs have a few flaws, which I will not repeat for the sake of keeping this review from getting any longer. However, these problems are easy to work around (There are websites where you can find the lyrics, and there is a lot of underlying variety here.) or are easy outweighed by the good qualities that I mentioned earlier. So, I give Siamese Dream five stars and my recommendation.

TRACKS
1. Cherub Rock *****
2. Quiet ****
3. Today *****
4. Hummer *****
5. Rocket ****
6. Disarm *****
7. Soma *****
8. Geek USA *****
9. Mayonaise *****
10. Spaceboy ***
11. Silverf*ck ****
12. Sweet Sweet **
13. Luna ***

SMASHING PUMPKINS ALBUMS
Gish (1991)
Siamese Dream (1993)
Pisces Iscariot (1994)
Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness (1995)
Adore (1998)
MACHINA: Machines of God (2000)
Greatest Hits (2001)