Santa, I Fell Asleep

Two of my all-time favorite holiday movies have been permanently scarred through association with a third (and hopefully final) release. Last year's anticipated box-office success recently made it to video and I'm wishing I had seen Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause in the theater rather than home. At least I would have saved some money and I wouldn't have marred a family gathering.

Good grief, Santa, what went wrong?

Several things, in my estimation destroyed this potentially good storyline. Tim Allen certainly has the potential to make a third of any series successful. However, he wasn't supported by a creative storyline and was hampered by some less than spectacular or heart-warming scenery. Only a handful of the characters possessed charm. Where was the ever-watchful Bernard (David Krumholtz)? He was replaced by Pinocchio, err Curtis, the wooden elf. Actor Spencer Breslin’s personality was too stiff for head-elf. I was appalled by Santa’s fireplace, which reminded me more of the evil twin in Dean Koontz’s book, Santa Twin. Martin Short’s character, Jack Frost, did more harm to this holiday fantasy than all of the damages combined. Jack Frost was truly disgustingly evil, poorly executed and unnecessary. His only redeeming quality was his hairstyle, and even that disappeared toward the movie’s conclusion.

While it’s good to say "Tim Allen is back in the big, red suit for more adventure and laughs" it’s helpful to have laughter. This is not a generational comment. I watched this with a grandchild, son and husband. We all liked the other two and we were all disappointed by this sorry event.

As the birth of Scott Calvin’s second child (first as Santa) was imminently due, Santa found himself distressed by Mrs. Clause’s loneliness and response to her workaholic husband. (Christmas eve was too close to relax.) To improve her disposition he invited some “tall people”, her parents for a visit to his fictitious toymaker’s workshop in “quaint Canada” rather than the North Pole. He unexpectedly brings his ex-wife, her husband, and their daughter Lucy. Meanwhile Jack Frost’s scheming to take over as Santa had been found out and he was on trial in the court of the Legendary Figures.

Jack Frost becomes a little too confident in his scheming and gets found out by little Lucy. Knowing he needs to quiet this discovery, he puts a big chill on her parents leaving them frosty and frozen in a cabinet.

The Escape Clause becomes known to Jack who learns this can turn time backwards to when Scott became Santa. If successfully implemented, Jack can satisfy his obsession for becoming Santa. This is what’s supposed to add tension to the movie, but it failed. The tension was wondering if this amateurishly written movie would end. Too much was added (it felt too contrived) and too little worked in this fantasy.

The most fun was an early scene with Carol Clause being rushed to the hospital while in labor. I chuckled at the gassy reindeer, but perhaps I was de-evolving in an attempt to find an age level at which to appreciate this sorry film. I wondered where all the good elves went. Santa 3 elves were devoid of charm and appeared mostly as children reading character-development lessons.

Ed Decter and John J. Strauss provided this script as well as the one for Santa Claus 2. Michael Lembeck helped direct this as well as two. The end result was boring. We all know that Tim Allen is an extremely gifted comedian, yet even his better lines failed. Decter, Strauss and Lembeck could have done much better.

The Infamous Escape Clause

It is my opinion the unsuccessful storyline, unoriginal plot, lack of inspiration, addition of a mean-spirited element and poor casting ruined any hopes for another entry into the Santa Claus story. I found myself missing Bernard, but suspected the numbers weren’t right for him to return. We wished to escape this misery knowing that neither Tim Allen nor Lucy could save this Santa.

This is a contribution to Kathy's November EpiWriMo Write Off and sleeper's Lean-n-mean VI