Neil Simon broadens his horizons hilariously

This movie deals with a bored millionaire, Lionel Twain, who sets out to prove to the world's five greatest living detectives, Sam Diamond (Peter Falk, in a hilarious parody of Humphrey Bogart), Inspector Milos Perrier (James Coco, parodying Inspector Hercule Poroit), Dick Charleston (David Niven, parodying Nick Charles while Maggie Smith parodies Myrna Loy's Nora Charles), Jessica Marbles (The Bride of Frankenstein herself Elsa Lanchester parodying Miss Marples), and Inspector Sidney Wang (the late great Peter Sellers, the funniest of the bunch as he parodies Charlie Chan), that he is the greatest of them all by challenging them to solve the perfect murder over the course of one weekend. What follows is a series of baffling events that all lead to a murder that none of them can solve... Or can they?

What makes this movie work is the fact that during Twain's final speech about how the detectives have fooled their readers for years with nonsensical surprise endings, new characters in the last five pages, withholding clues, etc., he's talking about just about everything writer Neil Simon makes fun of in this picture. A lot of critics complained when the movie came out that the script did not make sense, but that is without logic for two reasons, 1. Real mysteries often make little sense and Neil Simon was merely playing with this because he was well aware of it, and 2. Parody films often make little sense as well because they are all about the jokes.

But the most appealing thing about the film is that Simon parodies the quirks of the real detectives extremely well. For example, Perrier's appetite is forever at work in this film, despite the fact that Twain seems to be starving them, hiring a blind butler (a wonderfully witty Alec Guiness, whom Neil Simon took a shine to during the production) and a deaf and dumb cook (Nancy Walker), Dick Charleston seems only to care for his wife's money, Sam Diamond may or may not be a closet homosexual, Miss Marbles is very prim and proper, and Inspector Wang is constantly spewing out fortune cookie wisdom and broken English that annoys everyone around him. The entire cast is terrific, and the script shows Neil Simon really loves the mystery genre, but in my humble opinion, the funniest character is Inspector Sidney Wang, played wonderfully by Peter Sellers. A particular highlight of his character is when the victim is killed, he tells his adopted Japanese son to cover up the remains, the son asks why he does all the dirty work, Wang replies, "Because your mother not here to do it!" According to Simon, Orson Welles had been asked to play the part and loved the script but couldn't do it because he had to go to Italy, and I don't think he could have done the part as well as Sellers, who was really the first actor since Lon Chaney, Sr. who could play almost anything you asked him to. In fact, when it came time to do The Cheap Detective, which was a sole Bogart parody with Peter Falk, I personally would have made the movie about Peter Sellers' character, but I don't suppose Sellers came cheap, so we can let that slide.

The only problem with this movie is the presence of Truman Capote. Truman Capote was just as eccentric as his character, so he was well-cast, but he's no actor. And Neil Simon even said he tried to get him replaced and so did the director Robert Moore (this was his first film, but he'd directed several Simon plays) because both of them felt they could have been better served with a real actor, and I could see Orson Welles playing that role as well, or even John Carradine. That's not a major problem, though, and it does not prevent me from recommending the picture to everybody at all.