Cruisin' for a Bruisin'

Being a good little Epinionator who practices what I preach, I read a lot of reviews right here about MI2 before I went and saw it. Our tiny little town of less than 3000 people just saw the reopening (after a 15 year absence) of our movie theater. Complete with a brand spanking new THX sound system. This seemed like an excellent choice to check out whether or not THX was really that great. I went with one goal in mind (well, two goals, if you consider checking out the THX)-to pick this movie to shreds. Because that's what I do, rip a movie into pieces, leaving it a sniveling little pile of patheticness on the floor.

Okay, so the action scenes were completely over the top and unbelievable. By God, they were entertaining though! I have to say that this is the first time I've ever seen Swan Lake being danced by two motor vehicles (numerous times, I might add). So what if it wasn't realistic. If I want realistic, I'll watch the news.

So what if Tom Cruise was onscreen 90% of the time? He looks mighty fine, yes he does. That boy has aged well, hasn't he? He's very athletic in this role, performing all sorts of highly unrealistic stunts involving weapons, vehicles and cables attached to helicopters. But my, he certainly looks good doing it. Forget "Being John Malkovitch" I want to check into "Being Nicole Kidman" for a night.

My husband was mightily impressed with newcomer Thandie Newton's midriff. She spends an inordinate amount of time wearing those cute little shirts that don't meet the waistband of her pants. For some reason, men seem to find this just at arousing as some major nudity. What is it about the bare midriff, guys? C'mon, leave a comment and 'fess up.

Dougray Scott plays Sean, the villain intent not on world domination, but on attaining billions of dollars. Not through blackmail by threatening to release this megavirus but by starting an epidemic of it, then cashing in his company stock when the cure is introduced. Sound business plan, if a little unethical. Kind of like Bill Gates making tons of money on his "bug cure", Windows2000. I'm still not sure about Dougray. In some scenes he was downright unattractive, but in others there were some definite sexy vibes. A lot of it was that accent. Something about a fine Irish or Scottish brogue that gets me every time. One thing I noticed that I thought was a little touch of genius was the way Sean looked at Niah when she undressed to try on the dress he bought her. One of those brooding, lustful gazes. That by itself isn't interesting, but the fact that he uses that exact same look later, when he spies the vaccination gun of mega virus is interesting. A nice touch, I thought.

Ving Rhames does another outstanding job in this movie. He's a wonderful actor. Huge and tough, but you just know that underneath he's a kittycat.

Yes, this movie is overhyped and overdone. That's just John Woo's way, and he's the best there is at overhyping and overdoing. But this movie has some fantastic scenes. One scene is simply beautiful, and it's jarring to see something this beautiful in a movie of this type (NO it wasn't Newton's midriff). The scene where Hunt blows open the door to the room where Sean is bargaining for the virus, and Sean looks up to see what's going on. The door is outlined by the burning doorframe, and as Hunt walks slowly past the door (gazing into the room with a dark, intense, highly sexy stare), a dove flies over him and into the room. I assume this is supposed to be highly symbolic of SOMETHING, but I'm not going to psychoanalyze the movie that much. It was just a gorgeous scene. Kind of reminiscent of the dove releasing scene at the end of Blade Runner.

Don't go to see this movie for plot, or believable action. Go to see a bare midriff, a little car/motorcycle ballet, and some Cruise control