Lost Boys

Note: The following is a phone call conversation between Evil Ice and Iceman. No animals were harmed in the conversation and any similarities between all characters, fictional and non, is purely coincidental, and were not harmed in the making of this conversation. The only thing that was harmed in the following excerpt of the "review" of the Lost Boys is my sanity. Thank you very much.

Evil Ice: Iceman! Man, am I glad ta hear from ya. Ya hear 'bout dis old movie, The Lost Boys? I saw it de other day, and lemme tell ya, it rocks. But I gotta tell ya, chump, I think you and I can do better as de starrin' roles in dis flick.

Iceman: Evil... it's 3:30 in the morning. What the hell do you want?

Evil Ice: Jest lissen, fool, and I'll make it all clear ta ya. Jason Patric wuz actually pretty good in de role of Michael, but I can tell ya right now, ya'd make an even better Mikey! Hell, throw in a coupla of Mikey-likes-it jokes as far as blood goes... and maggots. Heh.

Iceman: Oh, I see... and let me guess: you'd take over for Kiefer Sutherland, playing the role of that leader of the vampires. Except... he's not really the leader is he? Wouldn't you rather be the old geezer?

Evil Ice: OOOhhh, Icey makes a funny! No, I think I'd totally turn ya over to the dark side, make ya a complete vampire, get ya suckin' blood as soon as ya drank from the goblet, idjit. The movie was chillin', just chillin', from the get-go. I wuz hopin' dat de vamps would get de family in da end, but dang, dat gramps has GOT ta go in the beginnin'.

Iceman: **yawns** Well, Evil, I think that the whole movie was good too... I liked how the movie developed, how Michael got turned; yet didn't complete the transformation. The woman lure is a classic tale, and Michael ended up freeing her in the end as well. The scenes of terror, the train bridge drop, the slow realization that Michael is turning into a vampire as various clues clue the audience in... the disappearance of the reflection in the mirror, the distaste for milk, the shades, the reaction of animals... it was a slick movie, mixing in the right balance of comedy and vampire folklore and suspense and horror and gore. A treat for any fan of the horror and fantasy genre.

Evil Ice: Whoa, bucko! Yeah, yeah it's all good, but I like a good blood-n-gore flick. And there was plenty! The hapless guard at the beginnin', the skinheads at the bonfire... Now, see, if it wuz you and moi, up in the tree, you 'bout ta get yer first kill, I woulda taken ya down wit' me, and made ya feed! And THEN lessee how the movies develops from DERE. Mebbee den at de end, when all the bloodsuckers die to various means of vampire impalement and holy water immersement, due to da quick lightnin' thinkin' of Mikey's lil bro, Sam and his two new buds of the comic shop. But if it were up ta moi, Evil Ice, I woulda finished off that old vamp geezer, Max, and set mahself up as the head vamp dude. I wouldn't be so sneaky 'bout tryin' ta set mahself up with de family.

Iceman: **groans** Evil, you're nuts. Who the hell would want to watch a movie like that? I mean, in all the movies you ever want to do, the BAD guys ALWAYS win! I mean, people today need a good scare from a horror flick, not be so terrorized that they pee in their seats! I mean, c'mon, think about it. No one would want to go see a movie like that. If you won, then evil will reign supreme, vampires would rule the earth, and people would feel cheated. Have you ever seen a horror movie where the bad guys won???

Evil Ice: DAT'S de beauty of it Ice-chump! DERE really AIN'T any movies like that! Why not make a good movie where de good guys ALMOST win in the end, but instead of all de vamps dyin', we'd have like one or two of 'em buyin' de vamp farm, while the other vamps take over de family? And Michael, you, would be turned vamp! And I'd take over de world... buuuwhahahaha.... just think 'bout it Ice-boy... wouldn't dat be a change from de regular horror movie flick? A so-close, yet-no-cigar loss by de good folks, and de vamps run amok.

Iceman: **sighs** Evil, that MIGHT be a good idea, but, The Lost Boys has already been done... so what would you do even if you changed the script around a bit, rename it? I doubt you could get the Corey's back to act in it anyway.... I really like the movie as it is, I don't think a rewritten script by you, starring the both of us, would go over as well. The plot was good, the acting was fairly decent, but the horror and the drama, the suspense was top notch. I DON'T think you could even match that.

Evil Ice: Yeah, I'd name it De Lost Ice-Boys!! hehehe... I think it'd go over great... c'mon Ice-weenie, whattdya say? Ya in or are ya out? Doncha wanna be a star? Be known as the dude who ALMOST wasted Evil Ice in a cool horror flick? Be my flunkie for all de other movie offers you and I would get after dis movies blows through da roof?

Iceman: Good night Evil... and NO. ~~~click~~~

Evil Ice: Why, dat dirty, crummy do-gooder...!!! Ima gonna go over dere with a pair of chompers and show HIM a good vamp bite!