my heart's not dead -- it's just bruised

i have taken to listening to the afghan whigs' gentlemen -- an absolutely bleak record, one filled with deceit and remorse, anguish and disgust. it's quite possibly their best work, and one of my favorite albums of all time.

the music -- the thrashing of guitars, the anguished vocals, the banging on piano keys -- is much harsher, sonically, than any of their other records, much more relentless in its pursuit of the sadness. i am constantly reminded of rain when i listen to the afghan whigs' music, probably because of the way the guitars wash over the rest of the songs' mix; here, that rain is fierce, blowing off umbrellas, coming down so hard as to entirely obliterate any field of vision.

of course, even though it is impossible to see during these spells, one can hear; this is where the words draped over the songs come in. the lyrics on 'gentlemen' cut, scream, fight their way through everything else on the record; it is these lyrics -- filled with images of entrapment and spite, confessions of emotional openness and accusations of lies -- that truly make 'gentlemen' a great record, a fully realized vision, an open wound waiting to taste more salt. they twist and turn, guided by the searing, battle-scarred voice of greg dulli, around shared pain, a sort of pain that is felt only through the anguish of the other. the word "love" is thrown around in the lyrics constantly. but this kind of love is a diseased one, one that is realized only through what is regarded as the inevitable: pulling away.

nowhere is this theme more apparent than on "my curse"; this is also the only song on the record that does not feature dulli's vocal as its cataclysmic centerpiece. instead the vocals are ceded to marcy mays of the band scrawl, and her anguished delivery of such phrases as "i'll try to break your back/you'll try to make amends" helps the record realize that manipulation and meanness are not the unique province of any one gender. it flips the context, making the listener realize how emotions can tangle and rot. (dulli, it should be noted, did write the lyrics for this particular song; however, i doubt the song would have the same affect on the rest of the record if he'd been the one singing.)

listening to 'gentlemen' can be a simultaneously cleansing and harrowing experience; confessions are spat out, forgiveness sobbed for, shells retreated into for wartime protection. heartbreak's ugliest manifestations come in one fell 45-minute swoop, couched in waves of guitars and piano.