Are you really going to be right there every night?

“Yes.”

“Forever?”

“Mm hmm.”

“You’re saying, that of all the people in the world, the one to whom you will donate your Naked Self, night after night, is me?”

“Uh-huh.”

“And the reason would be what – because I’m that appealing?
…I went too far, I see that now. You just go back to sleep, and I’ll say nothing.”

That is just one of the many perplexing questions presented in Paul Reiser’s Couplehood, as the author explores and ponders how two people – each with their own case of neurosis – can possibly live with each other for the rest of their lives. How do you find this person in the first place, the yellow pages? Dial 0 and ask the operator to connect you with someone who finds you somewhat not irritating?

Apparently that’s not the most popular way to go about the situation (however, I personally think it has potential). Reiser is at his comedic best with this 1994 release and comes across as witty and sarcastic as ever. Actually, this feels more like it’s a book version of ‘Mad About You’. Just add some dialogue from Helen Hunt, include a picture of the dog, and you’re set. That wasn’t a shot on the show but, like the sit-com, this is a pretty lighthearted book. It’s not full of obscenities that make you laugh out loud (ala Chris Rock) and it’s not full of obscure references that make you think (ala Dennis Miller).

The book, which begins on page 153 (so it feels like we’ve read more than we actually have), delves into the inner workings of relationships and investigates how the smallest aspects of the relationship become so important. The author doesn’t have any secret tricks to try or voodoo spells to cast that make relationships work – he simply presents how odd marriage and living with another person can be. Apparently, each person in the relationship loses half of their logic brain cells when they are married. That way the other person is constantly perplexed by what their spouse is doing. Despite this arguably major setback, some couples stay together. Go figure.

Reiser writes of his personal experiences regarding: things to do, what to eat, where to go, what other couples to hang out with, the art of going to the movies, looking at other women, being on the road without the spouse, and how the need for suntan lotion is a major reason to get married. Being alone is easy, it’s when you have someone in your immediate vicinity all the time that you have to start being paranoid.

A short excerpt:

“But the real work of two people blending – the behavior stuff – is where things really get interesting. Because after so many years of being by yourselves, no matter how much “Us” paint you throw on top of it, the old “You” still shows through. And that’s usually not a good thing.

A lot of guys think the highest compliment they can pay a woman is to treat her like “one of the guys.” The whole “Treat others as you would be treated yourself” rule becomes “Treat others as if you were by yourself.” They figure, “Surely we’re beyond the silly formalities, the need to be civil. Let’s relax. Be ourselves.” And the women are thinking, “Let’s not.” Because they know where this leads.

“Hey!”

“What?”

“Did you just fart on my arm?”

“Sorry. I didn’t know you were there.”

Overall I think this is a very funny book. It’s just under 200 pages and, with a sticker price of under $7, is a great value. I picked this book a little under a month ago prior to going on vacation in London. It’s a perfect read for travelling (especially when travelling includes a 7-hour flight). Very recommended.