Portrait Of The Artist As A Young Strangler

"I would say that art school was to me what Vietnam was for Oliver Stone..." -Daniel Clowes, Screenplay

**Minor Spoilers Ahead*

Having attended and dropped out of art school myself, the
title of this movie was both repellent and intriguing.
Repellent because it reminded me of my failure to become
not even a mediocre artist, and intriguing because, I guess I haven't had enough punishment from the psychological torture known as art school. There's nothing more detrimental to your health than the demands made on your fledgling creativity, dwindling individuality, and your sanity while dealing with the big questions about the future, the fame and the financial success, common place aspirations that are impossible to grasp when you're 18. But what new insights does this movie offer besides what is already known about art schools? I chose to pick up the movie and find out.

For anyone with an inkling of a creative gene, "Art School Confidential" starring Max Binghella as Jerome is a fun mix of odd and colorful characters attending the Strathmore Institute, a small art school in the east coast.

These characters are mostly caricature personalities with
stereopytical attributes at four levels. First, the students: there is the new-age, dread-locked, surfer bum, the tatooed beatnik chicks with staggering emotional baggage, the art sluts, the empty nester, 40-something mom returning to college for personal enrichment, a beautiful nude model that falls for that mysterious, shy, but talented artist. Second, there are faculty and staff that reminds you of the cynical expression that people who are gifted go on to better things and those who aren't go into teaching. They need the health insurance. John Malkovich is one such professor, who had been one of the firsts to paint graphic compositions of triangles. Angelica Houston also appears as one of the professors. Third, there are both the accomplished and failed alumni and the general art community post art school whose fickle opinions can either make or break your art career. Because everyone's roles are so smugly familiar, the movie draws the viewer into the student culture and surrounds him with the intense urgency of the main character's quest: To get the girl by obtaining the coveted spotlight.

"Le's face it, the history of art is largely about the implementation of masculinity that's all part of some Darwiniam imperative. Most artists become artists because, quite simply, they have no other way to attract a mate."

We're settling into the movie as the predictable plot continues where it meets a twist. Our talented artist becomes discouraged by the nasty whims in classroom critiques and staff appraisals of his work and in desperation to get the girl, does something terrible. We don't witness the process, only the aftermath. He doesn't know, due to his naivete and focused determination, that by doing this dishonorable deed he becomes the prime suspect in a serial strangulation case that is terrorizing the neighborhood. He is also unaware that the idiot who is getting his Warholian 15 minutes of fame with his ridiculous artwork AND stealing his beloved model is actually an undercover police with a family and a sargeant to whom he must answer.

The direction is done by Terry Zigoff, who has done Ghost World and Bad Santa. In the special features section, the director confesses that he hasn't attended any esoteric learning including the arts. But his movie Art School Confidential is flawlessly shot, and edited seamlessly as the scenes flow into the next. The student artwork displayed in the movie was completely believable, from the horribly misunderstood to pretty good, as well as the dialogues and the depictions of the interactions of above mentioned three groups that sound like overheard discourse but nevertheless vastly enlightening and entertaining.

The question of true art presented in this movie is unexpectedly funny because it pokes fun at the intellectual types who oohs and aahs at fleeting parades of junky, instant, throwaway art and devises a whole world of preposterous WORDINESS that mean very little and makes no sense.

While the vapid "it" boys and the "it" girls are basking in the spotlight, the true genius must pervert his straightfoward honesty to attain recognition and fame in a world where twisted is understood as flattery and notoriety is a money maker. If you can't win 'em, join 'em. Ha-ha.

I guess you can tell that I learned nothing from my year of art school. Well, at least I learned to B.S.




Prof. Malkovich: (To Jerome) Nothing doesn't actually exist in this classroom. What are you thinking?"

Jerome: I don't know...it just looks like a lame Cy Twonbly imitation to me. It looks like she did it in about two minutes.

Angry girls: "That is such bulls**! Just because her drawing isn't perfect, it's automatically bad. At least it has Humanity."

Dreadlocks: Yeah, it has, like, Humanity.