8 Women

Let me tell you a little Christmas story, this time with eight French women of varying ages, attitudes and murder-ability. It so happens that one overburdened man, only seen rarely and in shadow, has a houseful of greedy, oversexed women, except for the youngest daughter, of course, and all of them have a most terrible of insomnia. Not only does he live with his beautiful wife and young daughter, but his mother-in-law, his wife's sister, the sexy maid and a cook. Then his oldest daughter comes home for Christmas and his Rita Hayworth-like sister gets in on the action, uninvited.

It seems like 2002's 8 Women or 8 Femmes will be a Hallmark-type Christmas as the camera pans over the exquisitely snow-covered forest leading up to the pretty, brick house where a deer munches on grass poking through. Or you may be amused to think you're in for a spoof of diabolical proportions, heh. Soon the oldest daughter arrives with her mother and they discover from the others that the man of the house still sleeps.

After welcoming the oldest daughter home and introducing the new maid, the youngest daughter bursts into a catchy number, her mother and sister as her back-up. Yes, folks. This is Agatha Christie resuscitated for those with a French attitude. A musical who-dun-it where the songs capture the personalities of seven of the showy, but talented women. Think of it as a crazy time-out from the flying pace of the story that helps you to understand the women better…and they are each their own person full of secrets, power, and beauty.

Of course, the man, Marcel, is discovered with a bloodied knife in his back and the traumatized women swoon for a few minutes, but soon the oldest daughter turns into Sherlock Holmes-wannabe to find out 1) who was the last to see him alive, 2) why did he ask for herbal tea at midnight, 3) who was the last to use the disconnected phone? It becomes chaotic when all the women were up in the night for different reasons or heard things and accusations hit the fan.

As a 111-minute spoof 8 Femmes is hardly a serious murder mystery or drama. The actresses are having the time of their lives playing b*tches, wh*res, a repressed, spiteful woman, a confused, old lady, young ladies asserting their independence. I loved them all.

Danielle Darrieux .... Mamy, his mother-in-law
Catherine Deneuve .... Gaby, his wife
Isabelle Huppert .... Augustine, his wife's sister
Emmanuelle Beart .... Louise, the maid
Fanny Ardant .... Pierrette, his sister
Virginie Ledoyen .... Suzon, the oldest daughter
Ludivine Sagnier .... Catherine, the youngest daughter
Firmine Richard .... Madame Chanel, the black cook

You can imagine the unpredictable fun when eight French women are stranded in a house during a blizzard with no working phone or car. Ah yes, no dogs barked during the night and so the killer must be still present! Many truths are revealed about the man's financial problems, who was sleeping with whom and that the wife's sister reads romance novels like crazy to cover up her feelings for…Well, you'll just have to watch it!

Here's a lively, typical example of the catty dialogue:

Pierrette: As you ladies want the whole truth, I'd like to add a tidbit of information you lack.
Gaby: What is it this time?
Pierrette: Marcel and your new maid, Louise, have known each other for five years.
Gaby: What?
Pierrette: Five years of rented rooms and secret weekends. This winter you needed a maid, so Louise got hired.
[leaning in towards Gaby]
Pierrette: It's called "in-home service."

Or this one that illustrates the need to pay close attention so you don't miss any of the barbed humor:

Suzon: Didn't you say you saw no-one?
Augustine: I forgot. I went for a drink.
Gaby: Or a prowl around Marcel's room! What happened?
Catherine: You'd know if you still slept with Dad.
Gaby: I'm being judged by my own child!
Pierrette: That's why I never had any.
Gaby: Just admit no man ever asked you to.

8 Femmes, replete with grown women rolling around on the floor fighting to then end up kissing, may not tickle everyone's fancy. You need to be in a silly mood yourself to join in with the antics involved in it. It might help too if you can appreciate how it flagrantly spoofs murder mysteries right up to the ending the women all deserved, well, except for the youngest daughter. My hats off to Robert Thomas for his play that Francois Orzon adapted for much camp and directed.

I really had no favorites or even suspects. They all looked guilty at one time or another to add to the general confusion. It takes place within the house, sometimes upstairs, but mostly downstairs as in a play and is rated R. The DVD includes subtitles and a trailer, but nothing special. Who wants a commentary or behind-the-scenes with a who-dun-it spoof, anyway? Not me.

So my Christmas story ends. It might not seem much like one to you, but think of how the baby Jesus had to be born in secrecy so he wouldn't be killed. The connection will make sense in a twisted way when you watch 8 Femmes and I know you want to. Right?